Opening September 21st 2024

All activities & hours are weather permitting.

Cash or check only, ATM on site. No Pets Allowed, Service Animals Welcome.

Open Daily Weekdays & Weekends 10am-6pm

October Saturdays 10am-10pm

4729 Waleska Hwy
Jasper, GA 30143

770-735-3638

Yahoo Farm the Movie

Yahoo Farm

a feature screenplay synopsis

magical realism comedy

by Moon Bughead

Reality and imagination come together for the adventures of a man, a recliner, a dog, a bunch of farm animals and their guests at Yahoo Farm.

The year is 1986. Mr. Bobbie, President of The Bank of The World for Bankruptcies and Liquidations plots the demise of the Lazy Dude recliner factory and his imagined rival Lazy Dude Quality Control Inspector, Cosmo Curley, in order to gain the affections of the most perfect Miss Flower Patch. After a couple of near death experiences Mr. Bobbie’s plans come to fruition and the Lazy Dude factory is shut down. Cosmo loses his job, his house is eminent domained for the creation of a dog park, Miss Flower Patch gets her promotion and leaves for NYC with Mr. Bobbie. Cosmo receives a CONGRATULATIONS OCCUPANT! white postcard, has an epiphany and decides to go to Idaho. He gets hopelessly lost and stops at the turn off to Yahoo Farm.

Zeke Mann, the Official Representative for Yahoo Farm, checks the mailbox and takes out a CONGRATULATIONS OCCUPANT! white postcard. Cosmo asks Zeke for directions to Idaho. Zeke gets in the pickup and points up the road to Yahoo Farm, “Go that way.” They happen upon Rock Dog asleep in the road dreaming about Jim Dandy Dog Food. They all arrive at Yahoo Farm. Cosmo has a deja vu experience, “I’ve been here before.” Zeke introduces Cosmo to all the farm animals as they meet, greet and feed. He invites the hungry Cosmo to dinner. The best meal ever. They retire to their Lazy Dude recliners and revel in the spectacular night sky and the modulations of Moonie the Cow. Cosmo decides to stay and help at the farm for awhile. Everything is out of this world, way cool. Zeke asks Cosmo to open a small wooden box. He opens the box and takes out an old rolled up piece of paper and reads,”Whomever signs this document is the Official Representative for Yahoo Farm.” He starts unrolling the endless paper. Zeke,”Infinity is a long time. You just have to decide to be at the end.” Cosmo decides to be at the end. Beside each signature is an encryption. Zeke,“That’s universe, galaxy, solar system, planet and genetic code.” Cosmo takes the pen shaped rotating shaft of prismatic light from the box and his encryption and name is added to the paper. Zeke,” Congratulations! You are now the Official Representative for Yahoo Farm.” Come morning Zeke and his Lazy Dude are gone. Cosmo relishes his new occupation.

He takes the sledge pulled by Horse and Horse to the mailbox, puts his letter to Miss Flower Patch and the CONGRATULATIONS OCCUPANT! white postcard in the mailbox. A station wagon flies by, makes a u-turn and pulls up beside the 2 Percheron draft horses. The horses release volumes of farts that fill the wagon and everyone piles out. Many pictures are taken and a good time is had by all. Realizing it was almost 11:00 and brunch time with Uncle Gus the mirthful Kimballs hurriedly pile back in the station wagon. Cosmo,”I’m sure you’ll get there right on time.” He checks the mailbox. The mail is gone.

Back at the farm he shows Rock Dog a picture in the magazine, it’s the Kimballs. The sound of a squealing fan belt approaches. The squealing station wagon stops in the yard. They look at the faces peering from the wagon and then at the magazine. It is the Killabrew family!”Way!!” Cosmo, Rock Dog and the farm animals converge on the hapless family. Pandemonium ensues followed by a series of comical adventures. Animal mobbing, butt sniff, miracle water makes everything alright, frogs in the water bucket, the Horse and Horse encounter, slobber time, horse laughs and farts, first riding lesson, bug mouth, catapult apple tree, delusional defender, the apple fritter on wheels, fishing poles attack, slippery fish for Maxie, Hell is unleashed, Mabel fights fish, disassembling the dock, Big Mouth nailed, rolling da beast, happy day dream, barn tour, Moonie the Cow felicitations, cow pie encounter, Honey Hog new champion, Gufus Goat butts butt, disappearing Mac, the untouchable egg, Dufus Donkey does not save the day, chicken house transformation, feathered fun, Four Little Pigs love soccer, Mic scores, outhouse satisfaction, car on blocks, large caliber rant, Zeus’s revenge, attach of the white bread crazed waterfowl, Mac goes down, Rock Dog pisses on hubcaps, Jim Dandy parking permit revelation, rooster for the station wagon, best family day ever, high spirited goodbyes, Rock Dog stowaway, Mac’s dream comes true and Rock Dog hooks up with Jim Dandy Dog Food.

Mailman (Zeke) special delivery for Miss Flower Patch. She gets a CONGRATULATIONS OCCUPANT! white postcard and a letter. She reads the letter,”Now everything makes sense. Idaho here I come.” She writes a letter to Mr. Bobbie and leaves it on his desk and takes the Lazy Dude liquidation file. Mr. Bobbie freaks. The Three Nerdy Junior Executives are sent to find Miss Flower Patch. She pulls into the old Infinity gas station. Rock Dog is on the sofa and the attendant (Zeke) is sitting in his Lazy Dude reading the paper. Headline – JOHN LAZY DUDE III FREED LAZY DUDE TO REOPEN. Smaller headline – MONSTER FISH FRY FEEDS HUNGRY. “Do you know how to get to Yahoo Farm?” Zeke,”I’m sure if you just keep going you’ll get there.” Miss Flower Patch and Rock Dog surprise the relaxing Cosmo. Miss Flower Patch,”Could you tell me how to get to Idaho?” Cosmo,”Yes I can.” Big hug and kiss. Farm animal greetings. Epic night.

Email: moonbughead@yahoofarm.com

phone: 770-735-3638

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